Seeking God Knows What

Ok, I know I promised a post on whether or not to start potty-training but I “need” to write this first.

I’ve been catching up on the blog posts I missed and I read Ellen’s post on doubt.

So much of what she says could be me saying it. Well, other than sitting through church services. I used to “dread” church but now that we are at a church we really like, I love the service and love worshiping God there.

Do I believe Jesus died for our sins? Yes.
Do I believe that once we accept and let Jesus/God/the Holy Spirit into our lives, our sins are forgiven, erased, gone and we start a new life in Him? Yes.

But I do spend a lot of time wondering why God would want a personal relationship with me. I’ve commited some mega sins, I mean Ten Commandment level sin. Yes, I have repented of them, and will never commit them again. Yet, I still wonder why He choses to look past them.

Maybe it is that I certainly can’t forget them. The very depth of my self screams out, “Look at all you have done to hurt those in your life. You may be forgiven but no one will forget.”