Seeking God Knows What

Not falling asleep tonight. It’s warm in the house. As I have been going off Lexapro, I’ve noticed I’m having a harder time falling asleep. Too much “thinkin’s”.

I applied for a job online today. It is full time, which I’m not so sure about but I have not been able to find anything that is part-time and not retail. From the description, it sounds like a front desk/administrative deal for the “center for good health” at one of the local hospitals. The job listing didn’t give a lot of detail but it did mention an ability to work with frequent interruptions, which leads me to think at least it wouldn’t mean being stuck somewhere by myself all day. But I really need to find something else.

If you have ever seen the movie What Women Want with Mel Gibson, there’s the scene where he comes in one day and the girl who delivers the files (who happens to be named Erin) isn’t there, and he asks if anyone has seen her, and people have no idea. That was me this week. I worked two days this week and I don’t think anyone would have noticed if I hadn’t shown up since the woman who is my supervisor was out on vacation this week. It was as if I was invisible. Granted, I didn’t go out of my way to say much. The funny thing is my desk/cubicle is literally out in the open and everyone walks past it to go to the bathroom or the lunch room.

The other thing I’ve been thinking about: My older sister tells me today on the phone that my mother has this harebrained idea to go and stay with her sister 2 1/2 hours away every weekend from after her therapy appointment on Thursdays until her therapy appointment late Monday afternoon. Apparently she doesn’t want to be around my dad on the weekends because of his drinking, she even told M that she might get a job over there. Whatever. If she wants to move out, then get a job and do it. I don’t hold with any notion that it is my dad’s responsibility to support her if she doesn’t want to be married anymore. I’m not trying to say she is the one at fault, they are both at fault for what is happening in their relationship. However, I’m sure it will be GREAT for her to spend time with her sister who spends weird amounts of time in Ecuador with her “shaman” and was in a cult, and has assorted things such as taro cards and whatnot around. The same sister we stayed with the weekend I went to my conference at the end of April and after one day, my mom says to me that my aunt drove her crazy with her constant need to either talk or when she was not talking, make twittering sounds like a bird. I swear I will end up in a psych ward one of these days dealing with them. While I would prefer them to be together, if they are not going to be, I would like them to just get it over with, so we can all stop having to deal with these stupid shenanigans

I think I’m about to become a minivan mom. We are beginning the process of looking to replace T’s 1996 Jimmy with 185,000 miles on it. The a/c system has a leak in a mysterious place (just to locate it would cost lots o’ money, let alone fix it), it needs new struts, new brakes, new tires. It is beginning to overheat on a regular basis. T puts 1500+ miles on it a month, fortunately his work pays for his gas and insurance. We’ve been holding on and on to it because it is paid off and we haven’t wanted to add another car payment on top of all the other debt we are trying to pay off. We’ve been using the car allowance he gets to pay my car payment.

Now, I hate driving the Jimmy. Hate it. I can’t see very well, it feels too large to me, don’t like the steering or brakes on it. So, I’m reluctant to replace it with another SUV. The only one I’ve liked is the Ford Escape we test drove when we were looking for a replacement for my Honda Civic- my favorite car but was, alas, too small for Widget and her paraphenalia. We ended up with a Focus wagon and I do like it pretty well. The biggest thing is that there is a lot of road noise, particularly on the highway.

We are tossing around the idea of getting a minivan for me to drive, and letting T drive the Focus as it has the space he would need for transporting all his computer equipment. Then, if I needed to drive his car for some reason, I would be comfortable with it. We figure we would probably want a minivan when baby #2 comes around.

The dilemma is what version to get. I know I don’t want a Chrysler/Dodge/Plymouth. My sister has a Chrysler and my parents have a Dodge and I don’t like driving either of their vans. Mostly, it is because they feel too big. I’ll even admit that I don’t like riding in them either because I’m short enough my feet don’t hit the floor in the front passenger seat :p

We have friends with a Mazda MPV and a Honda Odyssey, which they like. I’ve heard good things about the Toyota Sienna but that is on the expensive end for us, even used, which is probably the route we would go.

Anyone willing to share their preferences and why?