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December 8, 2006I’m not sure that you could handle the stress and uncertainty I’ve seen with Guatemala adoptions. You really need to learn to “go with the flow” on those, and they can be filled with frustration.
Yeah, like domestic adoption is all that different?
Remind me that there isn’t stress and uncertainty the next time we experience a failed match or three months of falling in love with a baby knowing that at any moment the phone could ring and it’s over because that child isn’t legally ours.
Yeah, well, you should hear the stories that I’ve heard about Guatemalan adoption - and that’s from only a few people.
It’s just not where I’d go first, I’ll put it that way.
Oh, trust me, I’ve heard the stories.
I don’t even know why I’m getting knocked for a loop by your comment.
It isn’t like we’re filling out paperwork for ANY adoption right now. We can’t even afford the roughly $7,200 in fees for another domestic adoption through the woman we worked with for Widget, let alone nearly $15,000-$25,000 it often costs to adopt internationally.
Sigh.
Sorry…. (yet, again)
Okay, I’m sorry, but that’s a ridiculous comment. All types of adoption are fraught with uncertainty. Domestic is NO EASIER than any type of international–NONE.
That’s completely insensitive and uninformed comment. And it shows a complete lack of understanding (understanding at an empathetic level) of the emotions involved in a domestic adoption. Completely ignorant.
“Domestic is NO EASIER than any type of international–NONE.”
Domestic and international adoptions are not easy.
SOME international adoptions (like Guatemala) seem to be much more difficult, disorganized and “fraught with uncertainty” than others.
As Erin does not do well, at all, with high levels of uncertainty, it was that I was commenting on as much as anything else.
And yes, I’ve had first hand experience with international adoption, including losing a child assigned to our family.
No, it wasn’t Guatemala either.
But you’ve had no firsthand experience with domestic. So how are you so certain it’s easier than Guatemalan?
Did you have the child home in your house, skin to skin contact, bonding in person, before you lost the referral?
Did you witness the birth?
Did you hear a potential birth mom sing your praises and tell you that you’re just the right people to care for her child, and then deal with her not even returning her phone calls?
Did you get attached to an expectant mother AND a baby, only to have them BOTH pulled away from you?
My wife and I are only 9 days away from a domestic adoption of a baby girl. I’m apprehensive and excited at the same time. The amount of money we’ve paid for IUI, IVF, 1 adoption that failed in the last moment, and a 2nd that will go through without any problems; well, it’s a lot of money.
ANY adoption, domestic or international, is fraught with uncertainty, problems, emotions, and tremendous pain if it doesn’t work out.
In our failed adoption back in September, we bonded with the birthmother, helped her with expenses and doctors, and in the very last minute (one more form to sign) she suddenly ripped up the paperwork and walked out. We still don’t truly know why she did.
I hope our second situation will go better. I’ve heard both sides from friends and family, its a struggle no matter how it turns out.