Other thoughts about the Quets/Needham twins
January 2, 2007This is completely my opinion on this situation.
First of all, I do not condone what Allison Quets did by violating the custody agreement and taking the children to Canada. I’m sure she felt incredibly desperate and probably felt like she had no other recourse after fighting for so long. But I think in the end this will only hurt her case.
The thing that bothers me the most about this situation is that the Needhams have been fighting to keep the twins for 17 months rather than returning them to Quets when she changed her mind so soon after signing. Granted, until she proves fraud or duress in the courts, the termination is irrevocable (because of a terrible FL law), but still how can their conscience allow the Needhams to think they are entitled to parent these twins? I know that if I had heard that L was changing her mind about Widget within days, weeks or even the the first 6 months after placement (even if TPR had occurred), as hard and emotionally awful as it would be for me to “return” her, I would have because I cannot fathom down the road telling my child that her first mom did want to parent but I got in the way of it.
Sigh.
I hope for Allison’s sake, the Needhams petition to adopt is dismissed and, if she does end up with jail time for this, someone in her family will take guardianship of the twins until she can be with them.
PS I give up on not blogging 
Seems there was more to the story then first thought. I love nearby so hear from both sides of the fence.
http://www.wral.com/news/state/story/1127359/
live nearby ..oops.
That’s a tough one. Oronzo and I both agreed that, no matter what, we wouldn’t fight Snuggle Bug’s birthparent’s decision if they decided to parent…up until the point where they both signed the termination paperwork. If either of them had changed their mind before that paperwork was signed, Snuggle Bug would’ve been returned with no arguments, no attempts at stalling, no court battles.
After the paperwork…that would’ve been a tough call. At what point do you say, “Your decision was made”?
I’m so thankful that we never had that issue. In the 2 years since Snuggle Bug was born, his birth parents never once wavered in their decision, at least not that we know of.
And people wonder why so many people choose to adopt from overseas instead of domestically.
Understandable that after a signature an adoptive parent wouldn’t want to return a child, Overwhelmed. But consider how the child would feel as an adult, knowing that you deliberately kept them from their first family because it was legal. Moral and ethical are not the same as legal in this country. And consider that Allison Quets had NO time during which to consider her signature…she signed under duress and fraud and there was a zero revocation. The moment those children were out of her sight, she started to fight to get back to them. That’s not adoption. That’s horrific…for the children, for Quets, for all invovled.
The thing about Quets’s signature at all is that she was ill. Right from the start when she was ill, diagnosed with HG and later PPD, she needed help, was begging for help. She begged the Needhams, the social workers, the attornies…all of them ignored Allison’s physical health issues and her pleas for help.
This is not an adoption. It’s criminal behavior. The Needhams took those children from a mother who loved/loves them completely and fought her, still fight her. That’s kidnapping. To take children from a willing parent, leave with them, and go into hiding with them. It’s kidnapping.
And all the news stories say the kids’ weren’t adopted, yet at in early 1997, the Needhams were being called adoptive parents (prospective adoptive parents) and the children were still Quets legally, yet the papers didn’t use the correct names.
Those children will have no one if they are not returned to their mother. They will grow up one day, and they will hate the Needhams for keeping them from their mother and for trying to destroy Allison.
Not only that, but this case has wide ranging implications. Adoption will have a worse reputation (if that’s at all possible) than it does if we as a country allow this particular situation to stand; this is NOT adoption, this is child trafficking. This dirties all legitimate adoptions and calls into question every finalization and ICPC law in the country.