Seeking God Knows What

I meant to post this yesterday but got sidetracked by the horrifying events at Virginia Tech.

Awhile back I posted with a link to a news story about Stephanie Bennett’s attempts to have her daughter, Evelyn returned to her after what is a very unethical process that terminated her rights as a parent.

Today Baby Evelyn turned one. She has been hidden away for over 6 months by the paparents at the urging of the agency, A Child’s Waiting of Ohio. A court order to turn over custody to her grandparents was issued, a refusal by the agency to comply.

As an adoptive parent, I know the urge, the desire, the overwhelming longing to be a parent but that does not give me a right to a child taken from her mother under extremely unethical methods. I cannot imagine what the agency is telling them about the legalities of the situation. I am giving them the benefit of the doubt and, until I hear otherwise, I am assuming they do NOT have any idea what really happened regarding Stephanie’s rights termination. But no matter what, in the short time period immediately after when she changed her mind, they should have been done the right thing and returned Evelyn directly to Stephanie, whether there was a revocation period or not. I feel very strongly that between 6 and 12 weeks post placement, a child should be returned without any hesitation if the firstparents change their minds. I know it may feel like forever and there is a fear of not being able to attach if you as the aparent are guarding your heart, but you do. I knew every minute of every day for 12 weeks the phone could ring and L could say she wanted Widget back. It would have killed me but I would have done it. I also believe a line has to be drawn somewhere where the decision is irreversible but immediately after placement, heck no.

I want to know what they will tell her if they do end up being able to finalize the adoption about what happened. If they think they can hide it from her, impossible. I am quite sure she will find out. Whether they have any knowledge of the true situation or not, they are still guilty of keeping her when they should not have.

This is a case, along with Allison Quets (who remains in jail awaiting trial), shows the myriad of issues and reforms needed in adoption.

Thirdmom has prepared a great list of all the blog posts about this case here. Sign the petition here.