Seeking God Knows What

My session with #5 this week was better than I thought it might be. Lots of him making me evaluate and look at what things I’m stressing over that I might be able to take steps to get answers to. Plus we talked about my great ability to stew about stuff. I said I excel at stewing, which made him chuckle

My anxiety has been awful lately over the whole money situation. Every time I think we might be able to get on track, we end up in another tight money crisis. On paper, it looks like it should work but it never seems to. We are still agonizing over whether to file bankruptcy or wait because I am picking up an extra day starting in September and I got a whopping 40 cent per hour raise, which will help but we don’t know if it will truly help enough. Whether my “sanity” can take another day in the world of Thermoblah, I don’t know. And of course, we are continuing to get some phone calls from the “friendly” people at our old mortgage company, and since they won’t talk to me and they call my cell phone to talk to T, I guess they are s*0*l. I figure if I get a chance to talk to them, I’m just going to say they might as well give up now because if they do push us for it, we are going to file for bankruptcy protection which we should qualify for with no problem, so either way, they aren’t getting jack from us.

T is leaving me again this weekend for more canoing. This time he is going for one of our friends’ 30th birthday. While I’m glad he is getting some time to do guy stuff, I’m kind of dreading having the weekend to myself with Widget because she has been a bit of a pill lately and having his help on the weekend is sometimes very essential to my stability. I was thinking about tackling potty-training since we would have the weekend with no plans but I haven’t committed myself to it yet. I still don’t know if she is really ready or not (I think I was agonizing over this a year ago, with no progress. Ha!) and it seems like such a huge project.