Seeking God Knows What

I called the people with the house back this morning.  I just asked if there was anything we could do to work out an arrangement as we really liked the house and location.  I told her we didn’t need a fence or to change out the dishwasher.  And they were concerned about the fact that putting up a fence could raise their property taxes, which are already higher because they do not have the “principal residence exemption” since it is a rental house, something I totally understand.  I also said if they were concerned about the bankruptcy, we understood and were willing to pay a slightly larger deposit or get a co-signer.  She then asked about our current rent and if we had ever been behind, which we have not.  I even explained to her that other than the situation with the house over a year ago, we were on time with all our bill payments until we filed.  She then said she needed to talk to her husband and would call me back.

She called back ten minutes later, saying they were willing to take the risk and rent to us.  We get to rent the house, starting April 1st!!!

I am very happy about this.  T and I were so frustrated the last couple of nights as we had no idea what we were going to about our living arrangements.  We can’t wait to get out of this apartment and have a yard again

First of all, last night we found out the “oops” baby of our friends made his grand appearance yesterday morning.  I am very happy for them,  considering the complications at the beginning of her pregnancy but at the same time, I still get those infertility twinges of sadness when I see my friends and family having babies, talking about who they look like, the amazing miracle of pregnancy and birth.  Bleh.

Then I found out the house is out.  We got some weird random reasons as to why they didn’t want to rent to us.  First, she told me it was because they weren’t sure what they were going to do- it needed a new roof because it had leaked in a corner near the basement over the winter, so they weren’t sure they were going to rent it until that was done because they didn’t want to bother the renters with it happening .  Then, when T called her to say we didn’t mind as long as the roof was going to be fixed, she told him well, they didn’t want to rent to us because we had asked, while walking through the house, if we could change out the dishwasher and, maybe, put up a fence in the yard- both things we would pay for and do at no cost or time to them- and they didn’t feel that they wanted us doing those things.  They didn’t seem opposed to those things when we asked, and besides, that was all we were doing- ASKING if we could.  We would have been fine with them saying no right then and there.

Whatever.

I think it is because we were upfront and honest about having filed for bankruptcy.  Even though they wouldn’t have known because they didn’t ask for authorization to run our credit, we felt they should know.  We could have afforded the monthly rent payments without any issues and we were willing to provide them with whatever they needed to show this.  And if this was the case, I don’t know why she didn’t come right out and say that instead of making excuses.

Probably better that we don’t end up having to deal with them as landlords.  But I’m still sad because the house was perfect for what we wanted over the next couple of years until we can buy a house on our own.

Now maybe I can fall asleep!

1.  We are STILL waiting for the official word on whether we are going to be able to rent the house.  I left a message yesterday on her cell phone (it was turned off as it went straight to voicemail) but haven’t gotten a return call.  The ad is no longer in the paper, so I’m thinking that is a good sign.  I just want to know cause we either need to get a move-in date from them or find someplace else.

2.  My sister (the one rubbing off on me) and I were talking on Thursday about how impossible it is to find any of the kinds of products we want to buy for our kids in our area and how we can’t be the only ones looking for natural toys, cloth diapering supplies, babywearing products, BPA-free bottles and organic cotton clothing in our area.  Yeah, there is the internet but I personally have a hard time deciding on what to buy without actually holding the product in my hand.  There are a few stores here and there that carry little bits and pieces but not one that carries all this stuff in one place. 

Then, we had a brainstorm.  Between the two of us, we have 14 years of retail sales and management, business, marketing, basic business accounting and internet skills.  Why shouldn’t WE pursue the idea of opening our own store?  Both of us made the comment we wouldn’t be in it for the money but because we want to provide a well-made, safe, natural children’s product to the public.  Granted, it means a lot of work at developing a business plan, pursuing some sort of financial backing, set-up and running a business for little or no money in income for the two of us for a few years as we got the store off the ground but we could do it.  I think of all the crazy stores in our area that somehow stay in business year after year and I really don’t see how, if we do it right, we couldn’t make it work. 

And I have been thinking a lot about us actually doing it.  Ever since I managed the small specialty toy store, I have had this desire to have my own children’s store.  In fact, if I had stayed there instead of quitting after college, I might have been the one owning that store now because I would have been first on the list when the owner decided to retire a couple years ago.  I know this because I was first on the list when I left and I had a hard time deciding whether to leave or stay because I knew I would likely lose my chance at owning it.  So, this just might be it: the job I’ve been wandering about trying to find for the last 7-8 years and it has me excited about the whole idea!

3.  And on a work-related note, I’m almost done with my job.  Two more days :-P  T and I were going over our money/budget and we realized that we are, in fact, losing money on me working.  Yes, I make enough to cover daycare and contribute a little to our finances but we are also paying for a car for me to drive, car insurance, work clothes, going out to eat once in a while because we both worked and neither of us wanted to make dinner.  So, we decided to surrender one of our cars in our bankruptcy (because we can do it now and not be stuck with the balance after it sells) and be a one car family for a while.  There is no way I can work without a second car because T’s job requires him to be on the road nearly every day, so I can’t take him to work nor can he drop me off at work and pick me up as he never really knows where he is going to be and when each day. 

It actually won’t be too long before we could go back to having two cars because we will have freed up enough money in six months to either pay off T’s car, meaning we could conceivably get another short-term car payment, or buy an inexpensive car for me to run around town in.  It does mean I really want this house with a yard, a park nearby, and our friends living about 2 1/2 blocks away, so being home all day every day won’t drive me totally insane over the summer.

4.  Last but definitely not least, we know how we are going to be able to afford the majority of our next adoption.  Let’s just say that some property worth a substantial sum of money due to its location owned by T’s family has been sold.  Once our bankruptcy is completed and we are six months past everything, we will get our share of it.  They don’t want to mess up our bankruptcy because it won’t be anywhere near enough to make a dent in the debt we had but it will be enough to let us focus on saving for a house and building a real emergency fund instead of trying to save for those and another adoption.  We hemmed and hawed about what to do with it but we decided to use it for the adoption fees because we know we won’t be able to buy a house for at least two years anyway and we already have a small emergency fund built up from our tax refund this year.

T and I are struggling with apartment life.  We knew it would be an adjustment and we both thought we’d get used to it.  Yeah, not so much.  Part of the problem is having an upstairs neighbor-first we had Chimney Lady above us, who would go out on her balconey to smoke literally every 15 minutes this summer (I kept track one day). so her smoke/ash would float nicely in our air conditioner vent or our slider.   Now we have Weird Family with Mom, Dad and Son plus a little dog and a big dog.  Dad is apparently a sound technician with weird hours, got a new subwoofer for Christmas and thinks the prime time to play it is from 10 PM to 2-3 AM since as he told us, “my wife lets me sleep on the couch so I can listen to my music”.  Yes, we did complain to the property management, which apparently sent a letter and our neighbor then comes knocking on our door, in his pajamas while the temperature outside is maybe 5 degrees, apologizing while implying that he has to put up with our screaming kid who slams doors so we should have to put up with his racket.  Widget may be a “spirited” child but screaming and slamming doors are very rare around here.  Needless to say, T & I both looked at each other and said, “I can’t wait for our lease to be done.”  The next night he came down and offered us leftover corned beef and cabbage.  We declined.

And it would help if the parking lot and sidwalks were PLOWED in the winter, before people have to go to work.  They either do it at about 2 in the afternoon or 11 at night.  I so enjoy wading through 6 inches of snow on the sidewalks to get to my car in the morning. 

Plus I missed having a yard a lot more than I thought this summer.  So did Widget.  The only positive: the heated pool and central air since we didn’t have that at our last house.

Anyway, we are having a hard time locating anything to rent that is in a neighborhood we feel comfortable living in.  And then what people want for rent is outrageous!  I mean seriously our house payments before were just about the same except the disastrous refinance payment that didn’t include property taxes.  We’d still have to pay all our utilities, we just wouldn’t have the maintenance (supposedly- my sister and her husband got screwed when they rented a house because the landlord NEVER fixed anything that broke).  And they all want large sums of money for security deposits/last month’s rent and so on.

Of course, I’ve driven by at least 3 houses I like for sale with decent prices in the neighborhood we want to move to but as far as I know we can’t get a mortgage now since we filed for bankruptcy despite actually being in a better financial situation than we’ve ever been in before.

Add to that, I don’t really relish moving twice in the next few years- moving to a rental home, then buying a home but I cannot imagine staying here without it driving all of us crazy.

We had a fairly calm New Years this year.  We went to our friends until about 11, which was the point where their daughter and Widget began to spend more time whining and crying than playing.  We had hoped we could lull them to sleep with a movie but it was to no avail.  We gave up, came home and were in bed a freckle past midnight.

We have tried to have a fairly calm week after all the Christmas festivities over the last few weeks.  I did end up rearranging the living room furniture after we took the tree down, moving a bookcase into our room and shifting the tv into a corner so it is no longer the focal point of the room- not that it has reduced the amount of time the tv has been on!  Something we need to work on

I don’t generally make New Years resolutions because they are usually out the window within a month, although we are definitely going to be working on managing our finances better.  We did start watching the Financial Peace University Bankruptcy course on Dave Ramsey’s site last night and I think we will get some very useful information from the course.  It seems much better than the crappy online credit counseling we got in order to file.

I would also like to get Widget fully potty trained soon!!  She drives me bonkers because she knows when she has to go but we have gotten nowhere with actually training.  If she is bare bottomed, she will run to the potty and go (although she did pee in one of her snack bowls yesterday!).  If I put underwear on her, she just pees in it like it is a diaper.  Pullups just make her lazy, she never tries to use the potty while wearing a pullup.  We have a  little potty, we have a seat that goes on the big potty.  We’ve tried stickers.  We’ve tried bribes. We’ve tried treats.  We’ve tried talking about how she will be able to go to school when she goes in the potty all the time, something she is always asking about.  We praise her every time she goes.  We tell her how her cousins uses the potty, how her friend uses the potty.  Nothing is working. It may be the one thing that drives me insane *lol*

And now Widget would like to play video games.  I regret the day I showed her them on the computer.  She may become as addicted as I am to this darn thing

Since we filed, I decided that I would answer the phone calls coming in from our credit cards due to our missed payments, so I can give them our filing information faster than if I had to wait for them to received the official notice.  Once they know, they are required by law to stop calling.

Two things strike me as funny:

1.  I know they do automated dialing but do they really think that when people answer these calls, they are going to sit and wait on hold for “An important message from X credit card”?

2.  I answered a call from one, which was completely automated:

 Press 1 to verify who I am. 

Enter my last four digits of my Social Security number.

Press 1 to make a payment

Press 2 to make payment arrangements

Press 3 to say that a payment has been sent

Press 0 for an credit advisor

I follow the instructions and press 0 to pass on our information.  The automated voice says please hold.  I hold for less than 10 seconds.  A new voice then responds “We’re sorry.  Our office is now closed.  Please call back during our regular business hours.”

Gotta love it

Today we officially are filing for bankruptcy.  All I have to do is drop off our certified check to the lawyer’s office for his fees and they will electronically file the documents today.

Our credit will take a hit but the end is in sight.

Tonight I am going to bore you with an evaluation of our appointment with the bankruptcy attorney last week.

First of all, he was a very nice guy.  He seemed very honest about his desire to help people avoid bankruptcy if he can.  If not, he works with them through the whole process and makes sure that they leave with a good budget plan for the future.

Secondly, we do qualify for chapter 7 based on the new median income test.  I think there is one other “means test” we have to qualify for based on our expenditures and income to file.

Thirdly, based on our general estimates for debt, household expenses and income, he seemed to think we probably would have to file. 

Since we talked to him, we have spent the last week gathering the required documents to bring to our second appointment, doing the required bankruptcy credit counseling online -a big joke that cost me $50 for our required certificates- didn’t even copy the information I entered into our paperwork accurately (I’ve decided we are going to use Dave Ramsey’s Bankruptcy Pre-Discharge Program for that part, hopefully it will be worth it!) and just analyzing our expenditures on household, groceries, dining, clothing and so on.

What we discovered is T’s income, which is steady and very secure (Thank God!), is more than enough to cover our household expenses.  So that means what I make pays for child care and debt reduction.  Now, that brought up the question of whether I should work full-time to “save” us from bankruptcy.  However, after evaluation, we determined what held true last year holds true this year, my earning potential (at least if I were to stay at the same job just full-time, the easiest option) is not enough to offset the additional costs of full-time childcare, work expenses and add enough income to cover what we REALLY need to pay off debt.

Truth be told, I’ve been living in dream world about how much money we need to live without increasing our debt.  These last few months, we have truly watched our dollars at the grocery store, going out to eat, clothing etc. well, other than Spam-a-lot tickets and the reality is we cannot live on the money I had planned out.  We’ve managed to skate along the last few months with various methods- with a 5% interest rate till the balance is paid off check (bad choice), because T did an outside computer job for his old boss and because we had a referral to our apartment complex meaning we got a 50% credit on our rent for the month (both of these don’t have a lot of prospects for future money).

Yet, another almost missed day

For your quality excitement, I have to report that I spent the majority of the day organizing bills and paperwork to take to the bankruptcy attorney appointment we have tomorrow morning.(Yuck!) Needless to say, the real total number is very scary.

Then I went to my favorite oversized store (Meijer) to get my supplies for what I am bringing to Thanksgiving.  And after standing in line forever, I just get up to the cashier and my nose starts gushing blood.  Gross and embarassing all at once!  Fortunately, I was alone and the woman behind me had some extra kleenex and wipes.

And now I must wrap Widget’s birthday presents from us for tomorrow!  Her actual birthday! Three years old, I cannot wrap my head around it.

Made it with a couple minutes to spare!